He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
