Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Randomize
