**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
