We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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