I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
