She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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