Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to make out with him forever
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
