so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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