I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
