i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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