How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
