He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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