you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
