I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
