Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
