:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
