Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
