Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
