I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize