we made out on top of his cat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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