If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
