i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
