I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
