There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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