Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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