Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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