It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
