he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
