The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
