My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
