Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize