don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
