Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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