My friends, they love my intelligence
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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