I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
