Are we in a gay sports bar?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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