just come out here and I will go home with you...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
