Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
