One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
