Little spoons don't ask big questions
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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