You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
