I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
