oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
