i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
