OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
