We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
