people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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