I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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