I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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