ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
