and you said cock pushups were impossible
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
