we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
