dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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