You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize