super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize