I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize