I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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