The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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