it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
