Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
