i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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