Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
