the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
