Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
