me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
