Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
