First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
