We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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