I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
