if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
