He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
