32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
