maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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