please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
