He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
