Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
