i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
