pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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