there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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