I hate your face
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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