Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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