We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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