This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
