how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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